Benson's Secret Child
by kjs.joyfulheart83
Summary: An chance encounter with a young woman and Benson's world is turned upside down... Written in the view of both Benson and her lost daughter!
1. Chapter 1

Benson's Secret Child

Kirstie is 29 she started her life over again in America, New York City to be precise, two years ago with her best friend Mad's also 29, to join her step sister Heather 38 who had moved back there with their Dad when her mum and their Dad had split 24yrs earlier.

Kirstie had visited Heather and her Dad a few times over the years and had slowly fallen in love with the City bit by bit the city became more and more inviting but she just couldn't leave her Mum esp in the last year as her mum had become very ill, so Kirstie had to leave her job as a Nursery & Out of School Club Manager which she loved very much and become her mother's full time career.

So when her mum passed away She'd decided to move from YORK England to NYC for a fresh start, after she found out that her mum had left her everything in her will More than she could have ever imagined her mum have! She knew she had enough to set up her dream business there!

Kirstie had always known she was adopted her Mum & Dad had always been open about that, she'd often wondered about her birth mother and would look for her self in the strangers who passed her!

Her mum had told her as much as she could about her birth mother but she never pushed her on the subject as to not hurt her feelings she loved her mum so very much she was the one who had brought her up single handly since her Dad had left to go back to the US.

Kirstie knew she had been adopted in America when her parents were living in Philadelphia at the time and that her birth mother was studying at college in New York City and that the teddy she had used to be her birth mothers!

Kirstie needed this new start not only had she had to care for her mum but 5 years earlier she had to escape from a very violent marriage and a Miscarriage! Kirstie needed a new start where her ex could never find her when he did get out of prison.

* * *

Olivia had found out she was Pregnant while in college she was only just 17 at the time, and even now she could feel how so very scared she was of what her mother was going to say!

And she had every right to be scared, her mom kicked off at her so very bad not only verbally but physically too, yet again her mom had been drinking when she had returned home from college that day she found her mom sat at the kitchen table drinking, she wanted to cry seeing her mom sat there drunk again! Knowing wasn't a good time to talk to her Olivia had just walked straight to her room with out even talking to her mom! Shutting her bedroom door she thought she was safe, but it hasn't gone down well with her mom and as Olivia sat down on her bed her mom came bursting through the door, angry that she had been ignored, shouting at Olivia she got more and more angry, so much so she grabbed ahold of Olivia and pinned her up against the wall as she raised her hand and hit Olivia hard and as she went to hit her again Olivia shouted "PLEASE STOP MOM, PLEASE" so very loudly it shocked her mom, stopping her just for that very moment, then her hand hit Olivia again and again, that was when Olivia tried to hit back and as she did so she shouted loudly "PLEASE MOM STOP PLEASE I'M PREGNANT PLEASE"

With hearing this her Mom stopped stepping back raising her voice she said "What did you just say?"

"I'm Pregnant mom and I'm keeping it"

"What the fuck and To hell your not! You stupid girl what you go and do that for?"

And that was just the beginning Olivia's mom after calming down a bottle of Vodka and a day later agreed she could have the baby but she must give it up when it arrived, but this wouldn't be the first or the last time she got hit during her pregnancy with her daughter.

And by the time she gave birth to her baby girl 2 months early as her mom had hit her in the stomach Olivia realized even though she so very much wanted her Baby her mom had been right from the start she must give her up it wasn't safe or fair to bring her daughter up in the same environment she had been brought up in and she didn't have the kind of money to just move out and bring up a child,

As her baby girl lay in the crib beside her Olivia looked through a family book the adoption agency had sent over this was the 3rd one she had looked at and she was tired but the family picture brought a smile to her face, and she just knew it had to be them! Mr Donald Smithson American born and raied a peadatric Doctor, His wife Ella Smithson also a Doctor, Ella was British Born and raised but had moved over to Philadelphia to join her husband and step daughter Heather aged 9 when they'd married 4yrs ago! Olivia had known reading this how Much of a happy childhood her baby could have!

Olivia met the couple and there daughter and gave them her baby girl and all she ask was that her daughter was happy and for her to have her childhood teddy to keep for ever Ella & Don had agreed whole heartedly and promised she would be happy!


	2. Chapter 2

Kirstie, Mad's and Kirstie's older step Sista Heather are in a Irish bar Aoife's Ale House in downtown Manhattan NY, Chillin with a pint or too after a hard days graft running a Low Cost Child Care agency. Help people be able to go back to work and knowing their children are well looked after!

when all of a sudden from no where comes this man, he starts ranting and raving that Kirstie drank his Baileys. She said "Er I don't think so pal, I don't drink Bailey's, I am a larger gal from YORK!" With that he headbutts her, so Mad's comes from the other side of the bar and fly kicks the man, he goes flying in the air and lands at the bottom of Heather's feet! She is not best amused as she has been chugging Cherry bombs all afternoon. She says "you wanna pick on my sista" CRACK she headbutts him and knocks him clean out. Then the three of them pick him up and throw him in the dumpster out back. Making sure they give him a right weddie and pulling his jean down round his ankles to make sure he knows who not to mess with again!

Kirstie, Mad's & Heather go bk into the bar an order new drinks an get ready to chill out4 the night!

But after only an hour these two Deceptives turn up asking about the Man found knocked out, out the back of the bar in the dumpster, Kirstie, Mad's & Heather tried to just ignore what they heard the detectives saying to the Dave the Bar Man! Taking a sip from her pint Kirstie felt a hand on her shoulder, she flinched at the touch an turn to see who it was, yep and sure there was the Male detective stood behind her, Hello I'm Detective Amaro and this is Detective Benson can we have a word Please, The Bar Man said you were the last seen Arguing with this gentle man, the detective shows them a picture of the creep the left in the dumpster, in total shock Kirstie just stopped Talking with every questions the detectives asked she said nothing, Mad's & Heather stood by Kirstie and said they did nothing and they to refuse to talk to the detectives, the next thing they knew was they were all getting arrested...

* * *

Detective Benson wasn't very expressed when the captain came out of his office and shouted to Benson and Amaro that they had a job just 5mins before they were to finish for the day...

"I don't even know why we've been lumbered with it anyway, some drunk ended up in a dumpster with his pants down, just a normal Thursday night down this end of town?!" said Benson as her and Amaro walked to the car to go to the crime scene

"Liv come on let's just get it done with and then we can both go home Am sure we shouldn't be too long on this one.." Amaro said as he got into the car signaling Liv to do the same..

Aoife's Ale House..

Amaro and Benson's arrive at the scene just as the very drunk and obnoxious vic was being loaded into the Ambulance, and a uni shouts over to them "its okay I'll ride with you won't be getting much use out of him like this, he just keeps shouting they rape me, those Bitches, an won't say what happened"

Benson goes to talk with the other officer, while Amaro goes to talk with the bouncer who found him.

"Get anything useful from the witness Nic?"

"From Barry the Bouncer Not much just that Mr Obnoxious is true to his name, he's regular comes in most nights hits on a few women and then stumbles home, but tonight had been seen trying to hit on a woman and went to far and her and her mates kicked him out but the bouncer didn't see any of it only heard it second hand from the Bar Man, as his shift hadn't started yet"

"Oooooh sounds a bit more interesting than I First thought, let's go have a word with that barman.." Benson said as they walked through the open back door to the bar

Once inside Benson and Amaro could see the bar was pretty empty by now only 2 small groups of people left, a total mixed group sat in the corner 3 very young girls who from what Benson could see didn't look very much like 21 and two older men sat chatting them up and sat at the bar was a group of 3 women, sat talking to the barman.

The Bouncer shouts across "Hay Dave these people want to talk to you" pointing to the Detectives who were holding up their shelds, Benson & Amaro asked Dave about the incident earlier on in the evening that Barry the bouncer had told them about!

Dave explained what happened and that Mr Obnoxious had a name and his credit card was still behind the bar Mr Richard Williamson and that it was about time someone put him in his place, he'd been trying it on with women in there and who worked there for nearly 2yrs now!

Amaro said "Are the women who argued with Mr Williamson still here? And please don't fob me off I'm not in the

mood today!

Daves turn sheepishly and points to the 3 women sat at the other end of the bar he had been talking with as the detectives came in.

Amaro walks over to the 3 women sat at the end of the bar and places his hand on the shoulder of the woman nearest and with her bad to him, he felt flinch as he put his hand on her shoulder, He quickly removed it in panic not to scare her to much!

Asking the women questions they got no reply what soo ever but felt they needed to take them in for more questioning...


	3. Chapter 3

Back at the station, The gang cover all there butts an say nothing with every question asked...

Kirstie especially still sat in total shock in the interview room, she can't even look the detectives in the eyes, the hand on her shoulder from back at the bar had totally set off her PTSD from when her ex last found her, and she just could not bring her self to talk, scared for what she may say, she thought it best to just not say a thing an just keep her head down an try not to even engage with the detectives at all...

Not knowing how long she had been sat there she then heard half of what the female detective (who's name she had not heard when the Male detective had introduced her) said"...can go back and sit in the cell with the others until you guys decide to talk..."

For the first time since reaching the station Kirstie lifts her head looking confused to even why she was there and says softly "What..?"

The male Detective turns round from the door way where he was making his way out "Oh My God She speaks..."

Then the female detective repeats what she had said with a little concern in her voice "I said If your not going to talk to us..." An stops for a moment looking at Kirstie to see if she wants to answer her, Kirstie shakes her head and looks back down the detective continues "...then you can go back and sit in the cell with the others until you guys decide to talk!"

The Female detective walks her back to the cell where the others are sat in the corner...

Mad's shouts to her before the detective can even open the door "Kirst you OK?"

Kirstie looks up to see Mad's now stood by the door and just nods, as the detective opens the door, Mad's Looks at Kirstie and then at the detective and back again "Hay Heather come here... You noticed this..?" an nods her head to the detective and then back at Kirstie "how alike...?" she wispers in Heathers ear

Heather turns an realizes what Mad's had been on about "Oh My God, Never...your soo right"

Kirstie comes in and sits down on the bench next to where the they were stood she dips her head again, she was tired and could feel the tears building up inside and all she wanted to do now was go home but words weren't her friend today to get them out of this situation.

As the door slams shut Mads turns to Kirstie an says "your adopted right?"

Kirstie Looks up at the two who were both stood infront of her now and said tiredly "Yeah you know I am Why?"

"What do you know about your birth mother?" said Mad's intrigued at what Kirstie was gonna say

Kirstie Looks confusingly at them both an says loudly "What.?...What are you ona about?..."

"Shhhhhh BlondieButters they'll hear us" Mads an Heather both say in duo!

"What then?...What you asking about my birth mum for now? you guys know I gave up looking for her last year just to much stress after losing mum" Kirstie tiredly wispers

Then Heather Turns an looks at Mads & bk to Kirstie an says "Well We think we may have found your birth Mother"

"What are you guys on? Seriously we're stuck in here now, I don't want to hear it" Kirstie just looks away pulling her legs up to her chest the tiredness had almost consumed her from all the adrenaline she'd used while her PTSD had taken over her body uninvited. All she wanted to now was cry things were soo mixed up and Kirstie couldn't see a way out...

* * *

Olivia & Nick were both stood at the meeting desk and we're joined by Amanda and Fin,

"Liv you pulling and Rollins, makes us turn round an come back?" Fin says walking over to wards her

"Fin you were in the packing lot when we arrived back, it's not as tho you'd got home, I just wanted to get these lot out of here so we don't have to deal with it over the wkend" Liv replys bk to Fin

"So what we got Liv?.." Amanda says

Olivia explains all of what her and Nick got called too

"OK Liv but couldn't you guys manage them?" Says Fin looking confused

"Fin that's where we have a problem non of them are talking, I need you two to take Maddy shaw in interview 2, And Heather Smithson in the cell for now and me an Nick will take Kirstie Scaife who in interview 1"

"OK but how come there's 2 of you taking on one of them an we're just one on one with the others?" says Amanda looking a bit confused

"Well Kirstie hasn't said not one word at all, we're hoping the others give something up before we have a go at Trying to get anything at all out of Kirstie, Thanks guys"

the group disperse Olivia follows Amanda touching her arm to stop her she says"Amanda will you take Maddy Shaw I think she may be the weakest link, as she was the one chatting away when we brought them in"

"Yeah of course, what's Kirstie's story then?" Amanda asked as they both look through the one way Window into interview room 1 at Kirstie sat at the table her head down!

"I don't know, I'm quite worried about her really, she flinched an her eyes glazed over a little when Nick put his hand on her shoulder at the bar, I do think she's guilty of doing something to the vic but I think something else happened, am hoping that if we can get just a little bit from the other two it'll just push her to talk"

Amanda walks into the interview room 2 where Mad's was sat

"Who the Hell are you? What happened to the other two?"

"Hi Maddy I'm Detective Rollins, I hear you've the talkative one?"

"It's Mad's NOT Maddy and we didn't do anything, so I have nothing to say"

Nick and Olivia sit at there desk waiting for Amanda to finish talking with Maddy Shaw, just then they hear the door open out comes Amanda

"Come on move it, you can sit the cell till you can tell us what happened"

"What ever you aren't gettin anything from us"

Nick turns to Olivia "Am guessing she got nothing, by the looks of it Fin isn't ether, shall we just give it a go with Kirstie?.."

Amanda walks to the cell with Mad's where Fin was just leaving after talking to Heather

"you get anything Fin?"

"No this one won't talk, all she said is get lost an you don't have f*ck all on us,... what about you?"

"Na this one won't talk ether, just corrected me how to say her name..." Amanda nodded her head for Mad's to go into the cell "Well that an they didn't do it, an have nothing more to say, hope Nic & Liv have better luck with the other one"

Liv and Nick walk into the room Kirstie doesn't even lift her head up as they entered,

Olivia had a gut feeling about this girl, that she needed to take care of her so she whispers to Nick "somethings not right Nick? go a little softly please" nodding at Kirstie

Olivia sits down in the chair across the table from Kirstie an Nick stand behind her resting up against the one way Window Nick begins shots question after question at Kirstie but she doesn't even raise her head once. Olivia gives it ago trying to provoke a reaction out of her she says "Kirstie strange bunch of friends you have there, they said they don't know anything and that you were the one talking with the vic?.." tilting her head down to try and catch Kirstie's eye Olivia continues "This true were you the one talking with him? Did he tick you off?"

Nothing Kirstie's head or body doesn't move, just as if she isn't all there, like she'd zoned out, Olivia shurgs her shoulders at Nick he makes his way round the back of Kirstie 's chair, putting his hand down hard on the table next to her he leans in to Kirstie before he has chance to even say anything she flinches visibly scared by his attention, her eyes dart to where his hand lays Nick lifts his hand and says "Sorry did I scare you, like you scared poor Mr Williamson?"

Kirstie's eyes dart back to the space below her head not answering his question..

Nick shrugs his shoulders at Olivia and walks to the door

Liv Shrugs back and says "Right well if your not going to talk to us you can go back and sit in the cell with the others till you guys decide to talk..?

Kirstie's head lift slightly Olivia see's her face it looks confused and lost she catches her eye just a little, when Kirstie says so softly "What.?"

Before Olivia can even reply Nick says "Oh My God she speaks"

Olivia turns to Him and mouths "Nick don't"

She turns her head back to Kirstie looking at this lost face she says "I said well if you don't want to talk to us" stopping to let her speak Olivia looks kirstie in the eye, she shakes her head and lowers it again "Then you can go and sit in the cell with the others till you guys decided to talk to us"

Nick opens the door for Kirstie to go out of, Olivia shots one of her I'm worried about this one looks at Nick as she walks out behind Kirstie and takes her to the cell, Mad's shouts to Kirstie who lifts her head this is only the 2nd time Olivia has seen this girl look anywhere but down.

she catches the other too looking at her and Kirstie in an odd way as she opens the cell door

She watches Kirstie walk in an take a seat on the cell bench, there's something familiar about this girl, she'd felt this pull to make sure she was okay and to go light on her as they watched her through the viewing Window but she couldn't put her finger on what it was!

She saw the other girls are whispering as she slams the cell shut on them all, as she's about to turn an walk away she hears a voice she's never heard before it was Kirstie she spoke only afew words something about them knowing she was an asking why...

Olivia continues to walk away but slower than normal to see if she can hear what they're talking about... as she gets to the corner she hears Kirstie almost shouting at them asking what on earth her friends were on about, this intrigued Olivia she wanted to know more so she grabbed the chair nearest to the cell but that was out of sight for the most part, but all she can hear is whispering between the 3 of them so she leans back a bit to get a little view and a better ear shot, she see's Kirstie pull her legs up to her chest, to comfort her self Olivia thought, and catches the tail end of what Kirstie said "...We're stuck in here now, I don't want to hear it" and Kirstie was looking away from her friends.

Nick pushes Olivia's chair back up right an askes her "what did hear from them? Anything we can use?"

"Not sure Nick, but I did hear Kirstie speak for the first time"

"I thought she was a mute an had no voice box, what you want to do now?


	4. Chapter 4

Kirstie pulled her legs even closer to her body, her head felt even heavier she wanted to sleep, this tiredness had truly consumed her but still she fought it every last bit scared something could happen, her head lent against the wall unable to stop the tiredness taking over, her head dipped into her legs she had pulled into her body, she was asleep but this didn't stop her PTSD taking over within her dream state...

Mad's turns round to see Kirstie sleeping nudging Heather, she says "Look at sleeping beauty there.. Just wish that Williamson bloke had left her alone, she's been through enough as it is..."

Heather looks at her little sister smile slightly at how she'd just fallen asleep

"Yeah he's a right peace of work isn't he, you know he never used to come in the bar before you guys moved over here, I think he followed Kirstie in one day when she came to meet me for lunch just as you guys we're in the middle of those property deals an ever since then he's been in every day an some days I've had to get Barry to throw him out! I knew we should have done something before now, but you know Kirstie.."

"Yeah I know she just feels sorry for him, lonely old man leave him he'll be right.., after all she's been through and it had to end like this with him on the outside an us banged up in here... But he deserves what he..." Mad's trails off as she spots Kirstie shaking she jumps to her feet an goes to her side

"Kirstie its ok your safe" She says touching he shoulder,

Kirstie continues to shake even more so "Oh My God what do we do... Get help Heather... Get help!"

"HELP...HAY PLEASE HELP... PLEASE ANYONE HELP MY SISTER" tears building up in Heathers eyes with more an more growing concern she starts to shake the Cell door to get someone's attention with that a awemighty SCREAM comes from behind her, she turn to see Kirstie still pulling her legs into her chest an head lifted slightly Kirstie SCREAMS again and again. Her eyes still closed she shouts this time "NO PLEASE PLEASE No Don't touch me" And SCREAMS even loaded.

By this time the detectives are stood at the gate, Heather turns to them and says "Don't just bloody stand there Please Help her!" The Female detective unlocks the cell door throwing the door open she rushes to Kirstie's side

"Has she taken any thing?" She says turning her head to the 2 girls

Mad's and Heather both answer "No, not at all" Shaking there heads

"She not like that, she hates even the idea of taking pain killers let alone anything else" Mads ssays standing next to the detective

The Detective strokes Kirstie's head to calm her down "Shhhhhh its ok"

She puts her hand on her for head to see if she has a temp or not, she feels a little clamy not to hot, kneeling next to Kirstie the Detective puts her around her, Kirstie let's out another SCREAM "PLEASE Nooooooooooo, Your hurting me"

Tears rolling down Kirstie's face she fall into the detectives arms as she starts to come round the Detective strokes her head "Shhhhhh it's okay, your safe now, it's gonna be ok, Shhhhhh"

The vision what seemed to be controlling her stops almost as fast as it started, her breathing still fast an painful, she opens her eyes fully now and begins to cry, letting her self be where she is being held by the female detective,

* * *

Amaro approaches Benson who's still sat just in ear shot of the cell at the team meeting desk and hands her coffee, "They said anything else?"

"Not much else, think there talking about Kirstie falling asleep nothing exciting" Benson says taking a sip of coffee and leaning bk into the chair

"Looks like it's gonna be a long night then? Better make our selves comfortable!"

Before they could even start relaxing they hear shouting coming from the cell closely followed by an ear piecing scream the Detective both jump to their feet turning round grabbing the cell keys they run to the cell Benson unlocks the door pulling the door open the girl stood next to the door shouts at her, Benson ignores her walking straight up to Kirstie who's shaking badly, she kneels next to her then turns her head to the 2 girls who are now stood beside her "Has she taken anything?"

They both shake their heads an say no in duo

She turns her attention back to Kirstie still shaking, Benson feels her motherly instinct kick in she strocks Kirstie's head "Shhhhhh it's ok"

She touches Kirstie's head to see if she has a temperature, thinking maybe it could be an infection, but no she's only a little clamy, Liv's face looks even more concerned she puts her arm around Kirstie but with that Kirstie let out a scream "PLEASE NOOOOOOOOOOO your hurting me"

Benson notices tears rolling down Kirstie's face she let's her fall into her arms stroking her head she repeats "Shhhhhh it's okay, your safe now, it's gonna be ok, Shhhhhh"

She notices Kirstie coming round an let's her fall into her arms hugging her Liv feels this pull to make everything better for her, she can see Kirstie really struggling crying as if the world had changed, she looks over to see Nic stood by them

"She ok Benson?" Nick says looking concerned "or you need a Bus?"

"Am not sure Amaro but can you help me get her to the other room, we may have to get her checked out"


	5. Chapter 5

Detective Amaro walks over to Kirstie an puts his arm around her to lift her up an as soon as his hands touch her, Kirstie's eyes fix forward her body goes rided, as if someone had frozen her to the spot, an slightly shakes, Amaro an Benson realize instantly they need to get her out of there but without making things anymore worse.

Amaro bends down next to Kirstie an softly say "It's okay you can trust me am here to help you, Detective Benson will be with you all the time to" He and detective Benson touch Kirstie's hands (which feel like ice) breaking her freeze state Kirstie turns her head to them "So can I help you out of here?" Amaro continues

Kirstie nods her head letting the Detectives reach an arm under her shoulders to help her up and walk out to the family room,

They Sit Kirstie down on the sofa, Kirstie instantly reaches for the cushion an pulls it into her lap still trying to catch her breath moves her self into the corner of the sofa away from them, Benson sits down next to her grabbing a blanket an wraps it around Kirstie to try an warm her up.

"Kirstie would you like a warm drink? Tea? coffee? Hot Coco?"

Kirstie lifts her head to look at Detective Benson, she let's her self half smile and nods her head taking in a deal breath "A coffee would be lovely Thank you" she says breathlessly

Detective Benson smiles back at her, she turns to Detective Amaro and he nods "I'll go get that for you"

Kirstie turns her head to him with another half a smile she says "Thank you"

"Not a problem, I'll be right back"

Detective Benson puts her hand on Kirstie's back "How ya feeling now?"

Kirstie lifts her head tears roll down her cheeks looking at the Detective she shrugs her shoulders, her breathing still slightly fast, she trys to catch it, by taking another deep breath but it feels useless, she knows when she's like this the only thing to stop it is her inhaler which is in her hand bag of which she has no memory of whether it's still at the bar or the Detectives picked it up an have it?! Still feeling scared she doesn't want to ask, she just takes another deep breath trying to calm it down!

Detective Amaro returns with a coffee "I put milk in it and here's the suger hope that's ok" an he hands Kirstie a cup and another one to Detective Benson "I'll be back in little bit Liv" an walks bk out into the sqaud room!

Kirstie holds the cup with both hands, trying to calm her self down, as she takes a sip Kirstie realizes her breathing is getting worse, with that she looks bk up at Detective Benson An gives her a worried look, taking another deep breath nothing much goes in, she hates this feeling its like loosing control again! Detective Benson Looks at her "what is it Kirstie? Tell me!" taking the coffee cup off her

"breathing bad, need inhaler, please"

Detective Benson hammers on the windows behind her "Where is it Honey?"

"Bag..." Kirstie says struggling to get her words out

The door swings open Amaro runs in "everything ok?" his eyes dart from Benson to Kirstie sat hunched forward over the pillow struggling to breath "I'll get a bus"

pulling out his radio Liv calls after him "find their bags we brought in with us, to please Nick"

"take a deep breath, slow it down, your gonna be fine Kirstie, it's okay"

(Liv feels that pull again as if she had to save her, this felt like more than normal concerns)

Kirstie srugs off the blanket on her bk she learns forward more an breathlessly whispers "help please can't..." struggles to take another breath in to get out the next word "...breath,... please"

"It's okay Honey Help is on its way..." hammering on the windows again Olivia Shouts "Nick hurry please"

Nic runs in with 3 very different bags "which one?" He says holding them up

Olivia looks at Kirstie, Kirstie manages to lift her right hand up an points to the middle one with black and white images on!

"This one?" Amaro says holding up the same bag

Kirstie nods

Benson grabs it tipping the contents on to the table looking for the inhaler, She hadn't noticed the it fly down the side,

Kirstie sees her blue inhaler fly out down the side so she attempts to get up to grab it, grabbing the chairs at the table to support her, she manages to get to it, trying to lift it to her mouth but before she can take it her legs collapse under her, falling to the ground Detective Benson sees her from the corner of her eye an shouts "Nooo" jumping over the chair she reaches Kirstie pulling her back wards so she sat up She grabs the inhaler an puts it to Kirstie's mouth,

Kirstie nods in response

Benson presses the clip up Kirstie breaths in as much as she can,

breathlessly Kirstie says "Again please"

The detective does it again, breathing in the second dose Kirstie can feel it releave her chest a little, she let's the detective hold her up she feels safe in her arms...

With that the door bursts open with the paramedics running over to the pairs side they instantly put Kirstie on oxygen..

As they put her on the trolley to take her out to the Ambulance Kirstie reaches for Benson's hand to hold...

She instantly holds Kirstie's hand as they wheel her out Liv turns to Nick who hands Liv her phone "It's okay Liv I'll follow on in the car in a bit"


	6. Chapter 6

Kirstie comes round laying in a hospital bed, her chest hurting, mask pumping oxygen into her, she felt uncomfortable, she tried to take the mask off but it was banded on an she was too tired to work it out, looking around for someone to help her, she see's the female detective sat in the chair next to her, her eyes closed with her hand resting on the bed next to her.

Kirstie smiles at her sleeping in the chair something about this woman looked familiar but Kirstie couldn't put her finger on what it was.

Kirstie reaches for the Detectives hand, sneezing her hand she watches the Detective open her eyes, she looks straight at Kirstie "Oh Honey Your awake, I'll get a Doctor!"

Kirstie shakes her head and reaches her hands up to try an take her mask off again..

"No sweetie don't take it off" softly pulling Kirstie's hands away from the mask "I'll get a Doctor honey"

Kirstie watches The Detective walk to the room door putting her head out and returning seconds later with a doctor following her

"Hi Kirstie I'm Doctor Myers" Kirstie reaches for her mask again

"no please don't do that Kirstie you need to keep that on for now, your oxygen levels haven't raised enough yet"

Mouthing through the mask Kirstie says "what happened?"

"What happened? You got worse on the ride in honey, you also have a chest infection too, we had to sedate you and tube you, you were so tired we had to breath for you to give you a rest"

Kirstie points to her mask

"the mask? We took you off the sedation and tube last night and your now on a CPAP oxygen, just for a little longer when your levels are bit higher, I'll let your friends know your awake they've been in the waiting room since yesterday Morning"

The doctor turns an walks out, Kirstie turns to look at the Detective all confused an mouths "How?"

"How? What? How's they get out the precinct?" The detective says looking for Kirstie's answer

Kirstie nods in response

"after we rushed you to the hospital, Detectives Tutuola & Rollins went to talk to your friends the next morning they were so worried about you and wanted to be here, they told us all about what happened Thursday night with Mr Williamson, and then we talked to him with the evidence he dropped the charges, but I do need to talk to you about what he did to you sweetie, when your up to talking, but for now I'll go get your friends, but I'll be right outside if you need me?!"

Kirstie nods still so tired she can hardly move but couldn't wait to see Mad's and her sister Heather

The Detective left, Kirstie kept her eyes glued to the door excited at seeing her best friend and her sister.

Mad's and Heather come running through the door "Oh My God am soo glad your ok!" Heather says throwing her arms around Kirstie "I thought I... We were going to loose you, especially when you didn't come round last night after the sedation, I've called Dad he's gonna catch the next flight out from Paris, with the lovely Gloria" Heather rolls her eyes

Kirstie nods an rolls her eyes too

Mad's leans in gives Kirstie a Hug "I am sooo glad your ok Kirst, am sorry we had to tell them about Thursday night or they wouldn't let us come be here with you"

Kirstie nods an "It's okay"

Kirstie's head feels heavy her eyes closing she was soo tired, she tired to keep her eyes open

"It's okay Kirstie you can sleep now your safe" Mad's says hold Kirstie's hand

Kirstie closes her eyes feeling safe

* * *

Olivia had been sat by Kirstie's bed since they took her off sedation, her friends were asleep in the waiting room they were so tired she'd offered to sit with Kirstie an come an get them when she woke!

That wasn't the only reason she offered she'd felt this pull to help Kirstie, but it was a stronger pull than she got for any other victim, she said the same thing to Brian when she called him to say she wouldn't be home coz she'd felt she had to stay an make sure Kirstie was gonna be ok, Brian understood He knew how far Olivia would go for a vic.

Olivia had fallen asleep she felt someone sweeze her hand, she wakes to find Kirstie awake and holding her hand "Oh Honey Your awake I'll get a Doctor"

She sees kirstie reach first round the oxygen mask, she takes a hold of Kirstie's hands "No sweetie don't take it off, I'll get a Doctor honey"

Olivia puts her head out the door to see if anyone is around she notices the clock it early 5am just gone, she see's the doctor walking round the corner "Hay doc come quick Kirstie's awake, she's trying to take the CPAP off"

Olivia returns to Kirstie's side,the doctor runs in behind her "Hi Kirstie I'm Doctor Myers"

Kirstie reaches for her mask again

"no please don't do that Kirstie you need to keep that on for now, your oxygen levels haven't raised enough yet"

Olivia reaches her hand out, an takes hold of Kirstie hand nearest to her, holding into her while the Doctor explains everything to Kirstie, she watches Kirstie as if she was her own daughter scared of how she was feeling an if she was gonna get better.

Olivia watches the doctor turn an walks out, she notices that Kirstie is looking at her with the look of confusion across her face when sees her mouth "How?"

"How What? How's they get out the precinct?"

Looking at Kristie, Olivia can see she is tired as she nods at her,

"after we rushed you to the hospital, Detectives Tutuola & Rollins went to talk to your friends the next morning they were so worried about you and wanted to be here, they told us all about what happened Thursday night with Mr Williamson, and then we talked to him with the evidence he dropped the charges, but I do need to talk to you about what he did to you sweetie, when your up to talking, but for now I'll go get your friends, but I'll be right outside if you need me?!"

Olivia walks out the room and let's out a big breath, she'd never felt so worried as she had when Brian got shot, she walks into the waiting room where the other two lasses were sitting, who had just been joined by Amaro, "She's awake, you can go in an see her am sure she would love to see you guys"

She watches them leave an walks over to sit next to Amaro, she puts her head into her hands and takes a deep breath, Amaro puts his hand on her back "How's she doing?"

"Not too good, but at least she's not on the breathing tube anymore" she says shaking her head

"You had any sleep yet?" Amaro says looking down at his partner who looks like she's about to crash

"a little after they took her off the sedation, Nick am soo worried about her, am scared to leave incase something happens to her"

"what is it about this girl? She seems to have gotten to ya"

"I don't know Nick, I just feel a right connection with her, I don't know how to describe it"

"Well I did think she looks alot like a younger version of you" Amaro says laughing an he notices Olivia's sad face "why don't you go home now an try an get some sleep while the girls are with her"

"I said I'd be out here if she needed me I can't..." Olivia was interrupted by Heather walking into the waiting room "She's fallen asleep again, we're gonna stay with her till this afternoon when we'll go pick up mine an Kirstie's Dad from the airport, Thank-you for helping us!"

"your welcome honey, I'll pop by later to see how's she doing" Olivia says as she makes her way out of the room "you have my number if you need anything"

She nods for Amaro to follow her

"take care Heather" Amaro says as he follows Olivia out.


	7. Chapter 7

Olivia leaves the hospital, Nick chases after her, "Hay wait up I'll give you a life home"

Olivia turns to Nick an just nods she's to tired to argue with him, she gets into the car and sits in silence till they reach Olivia an Brian's apartment block, she nods at Nick, to tired to even speak she get out the car "you gonna be ok Liv?"

She turns to face Nick sat in the car noding again, she closes the car door before walking to her apartment.

She walks through the apartment door on autopilot she throwing her bag an keys onto the kitchen side an poured her self a cup of coffee from the freshly brewed coffee pot, she could hear the shower going in the other room, all she wanted to do was fall into Brian's arms, she really hadn't wanted to leave the hospital, what if Kirstie woke an she wanted her an she wasn't there?! What if something happened to her an she wasn't there! Now she's just being silly she thought her sister and best friend were there she'd be fine but this didn't stop her from feeling worried about her, with that she felt two arms slip around her, it was Brian, she hadn't noticed the noise of the shower stopping or him walking up to her, she'd just been stood with her coffee in hand.

"Hay Baby how ya doing?" Brian says planting a kiss on Olivia's cheek

"I don't know Babe, tired but am soo worried, I've never see someone fighting to even take one breath, something happened to her, I just wish I could help her more"

"why don't you go try put your head down for a wee bit"

"I said I'd go back an sit with Kirstie when her sister and best friend go to the airport to pick up their Dad, I don't want to over sleep, I'll just have this coffee an ave a shower an I'll be fine Bri"

"It's okay baby am off today, you go try get some sleep an I'll wake you at noon Liv" Brian says taking the coffee cup out of Liv's hands.

Liv nods gives Brian a Hug an heads to their room.

* * *

The two girls sit by Kirstie's bed while she sleeps, the doctor had come in an taken Kirstie off the CPAP an left her on normal oxygen but she was still tired, so had soon fallen back to sleep, Mad's an Heather are chatting away about the eye candy that pass the room window,

Kirstie wakes to hearing them an smiles an laughs to her self, this was their favorite past time, they'd often sat at the bar window doing the self same thing an it amused her, lifting off her oxygen mask Kirstie interrupts them "Hay you two leave those poor docs alone their trying to save lives"

They both shot there heads around to see Kirstie smiling an laughing at them,

"you guys don't change am on my death bed here an your still ogling guys"

"Well you've not been very chatting we had to entertain our selves" Mad's says smiling at how much better Kirstie Looked

"Looking good there sister, how long you been awake?" Heather says

"Oh long enough to here you too making comments about every guy that walked past, an that last one wasn't too shabby ether think you two need glasses"

They all burst out laughing in unison

"Am glad your ok Kirst, it was touch an go there for a while, even after you came round last time" Heather says giving her sister a hug

"So what times Dad and the LOVELY Gloria landing? I don't see why he has to bring her with him, fink I may get worse again after spending 5 minutes in a room with her talking about herself"

"They land in about an hour and half, at JFK, well he couldn't leave her in Paris she'd bankrupt him within half hr of him being gone, I know dad will want to come straight here from the airport otherwise I'd drop her bk at theirs first"

"It's okay, just try an make sure she's not in this room for that long, am still tired an I truly do not want to have an argument feeling like this"


	8. Chapter 8

Olivia woke in a panic all hot an flustered, shouting "Noooooo"

The bedroom door flow open "you OK baby" Brian said running to her side

"I'm fine Bri just a bad dream that's all, am gonna go grab a shower, I should really be getting back to the hospital"

"You sure Liv you look like you've just seen a ghost? Brian says. Following her to the bathroom standing in the door way,

"Bri am fine, and I love you but please let me go get a shower" Liv says holding the door ready to close it

"OK baby I'll go make some fresh coffee an something for you to eat too"

Liv closes the door and turns an rests on it an sighs, still slightly shaky from the dream she turns the shower on,

She couldn't understand after nearly 29 yrs why she was having dreams about her baby girl, she never forgot about her but she also had never told anyone about her ether, she'd tired to tell Bri once but where do you get the words to say she had a Daughter some where? She just couldn't, so she just kept her memory alive at the back of her mind I mean her daughter had never come looking for her in all these years, why was she thinking of her now it didn't make sense "Oh forget about it Liv just get ya self a shower or you'll be late, seriously Liv" she said out loud talking to her self.

After what seemed like an age Olivia was finally ready to leave, she'd showered, dressed an eaten an felt like she'd hardly spoke to Brian.

Olivia walked over to Brian an hugged him tight, he hugged her back, she felt safe in his arms like all her problems had melted away!

"You sure your gonna be ok Liv? I can take you baby"

"OK that would be nice, don't think I got that much sleep an seen as Amaro has the car, might be a good idea, am guessing you brought the car bk with you last night then?"

Brian nods an hugs Olivia tightly again before grabbing the keys off the kitchen side,

Olivia grabs the travel mug Brian had just filled for her an her bag off the side an they both head for the door "I do love you Brian Cassidy" Olivia says planting a kiss on his cheek as he holds the door for her.

"I Love you too Olivia Benson, now go get your butt to that car, or you'll be late like you've been telling me for the past half hr" Brian laughs as he closes the apartment door.


	9. Chapter 9

The girls all sat huddled up on Kirstie's bed for the next 45mins or so, with Heather an Mad's rating the guys that pasted the windows and Kirstie laughing at them an occasionally joining in, she was tired tho, she knew they were just trying to keep her spirit up an she appreciated it, she really didn't want to be alone at the moment, infact all she really wanted was her Mum but that wasn't going to happen, so just being around people was the next best thing.

"we're gonna have to go soon if we're gonna get across town to JFK in time Heather?!"

"What your both going?" Kirstie says with tears building up

"We have to sis, you know I don't drive, can hardly bring them bk on the subway an Dad an Gloria don't know Mad's, so can hardly let her go alone..."

Kirstie interrupts Heather "I know Heather but I really don't want to be alone right now" She says with tears rolling down her face an account breathing gets faster again

Heather turns an Hugs Kirstie "Hay it's ok sis sssshhhh, don't get ya self up set again"

"Didn't that Detective say she was coming back this afternoon, why don't I give her a ring and see if she's on her way, an she can sit with you while we go get your Dad an Gloria?"

Kirstie nods trying to slow her breathing down

And nurse pops her head in to see how things were "You Miss Scaife should have your oxygen on" the nurse walks over to the bed as Mad's walks out of the room holding Detective Benson's card in hand to go call her, the nurse puts the oxygen mask back on an then checks Kirstie's obbs, "your oxygen levels are dipping again young lady, we'll have to increase your obbs again, we'll also put you on nebulizer again to see if that helps your breathing"

The nurse walks to the meds cart to sort the nebulizer out, as Mad's walks back into the room and up to Kirstie's bed side, "She wa just pulling up to the hospital when I called she'll be up any minute hun"

Kirstie nods an smiles at Mad's.

The Nurse walks back over with the meds cart "Hay you girls are going to have to wait outside for a few minutes while we sort Kirstie out, please if you don't mind"

"We'll head off to pick Dad up Kirst, am sure The detective will be her by the time the nurse has finished, you gonna be ok?" Heather leans in an gives Kirstie a hug

Kirstie wispers "Yeah" an nods as she watches the two leave

The nurse takes Kirstie's oxygen off an attaches the nebulizer mask an puts it back on "I'll just change this fluids over an am going to have to take some more bloods to do some more detailed tests, that ok sweety?"

Kirstie nods an looks the other way closing her eyes while the nurse took the bloods, she hated needles, a tear rolled down her cheek, she felt so alone.

"You ok honey" a voice came from the end of the bed, Kirstie Looked up it was Detective Benson, she smiled at the friendly face at the end of the bed then felt the pain of the nurse pulling what felt like all her blood out an turned her head an closed her eyes again.

The detective took hold of her free hand and sat on the bed next to Kirstie

"That's it sweety all done, the doctor will be back in to see you in a little while" the nurse said as she pushed the cart out

Kirstie opened her eyes and smiled at the detective who was sit sat on the bed next to her, She lifted the nebulizer mask slightly an softly said "Thank-you Detective.."

Olivia interrupted her "Call me Olivia honey"

"Thank-you Olivia" Kirstie said an put her mask back on she sure felt tired now, as she sat back into the bed to rest, Olivia got up and sat in the chair next to her, still having hold of Kirstie's hand

"you look a little better than when I last saw you, Mad's tells me you've been awake laughing an joking"

Kirstie nods she really was tired she truly wanted to stay awake an talk but she didn't know how much longer she could hold on. She washes in an out of consciousness fighting to stay awake.

"It's okay Honey if your tired sleep" Olivia says stroking Kirstie's head "I'll stay right here"

With that Kirstie falls to sleep, feeling safe.

* * *

They were just pulling up to the hospital when Olivia's phone starts to ring "Benson"

A voice comes from the other end "Detective Benson, it's Maddy Shaw, Kirstie's friend, I was just wondering if you were still coming to see Kirstie this afternoon? It's just..."

"Yeah I'm just about to pull up out side the hospital now, why what's up has something happened? Is Kirstie ok?" Olivia says with concerned voice (an look on her face)

"She's doing better thanks, she been sat up talking, laughing an joking with us"

"Oh that's good am glad.."

"the only thing is she's started to get upset an its not helping her breathing, as both me an Heather have to go pick up their Dad as Heather doesn't drive, we were wondering if you'd sit with her till we get back please she doesn't want to be alone"

"Oh god no that's not good, yeah of course I will, I'll be right up" Olivia says as Brian pulls up to the front door,

Olivia leans over an gives Brian a kiss, "I've got to go Babe, I love you" Olivia jumps out of the car grabbing her bag she leans slightly in before shutting the door "Thank-you So much Bri"

Brian shouts back to her "Call me if you need picking up Liv, I love you too"

Olivia runs runs towards the elevator an shouts "can you hold it please" She runs in just in time an the doors close behind her.

Olivia sighs as the elevator reaches the 6th floor 'oh my god that was the longest elevator ride I've ever been on' she thinks as she steps out.

She walks past the corner window of Kirstie's room an see's her layed on the bed her eyes shut tight an her head tilted away from the nurse, who has noticed her stood watching an waves her in, Olivia walks in the nurse nods for her to go hold Kirstie's hand, Olivia walks a little way round an stands at the end of the bed and say "you ok honey?"

Kirstie looks up at her an smiles through her mask, but then Kirstie winses an turns her head an closed her eyes again.

Olivia walks round to the others side takes ahold of Kirstie's free hand and sits down on the bed next to her.

The nurse looks up..

"That's it sweety all done, the doctor will be back in to see you in a little while" the nurse said as she pushed the cart out

Kirstie opened her eyes and smiles at Olivia whos was sat on the bed next to her, She lifted the nebulizer mask slightly an softly said "Thank-you Detective.."

Olivia interrupted her "Call me Olivia honey"

"Thank-you Olivia" Kirstie said an put her mask back on

Olivia got up and sat in the chair next to her, still having hold of Kirstie's hand

"you look a little better than when I last saw you, Mad's tells me you've been awake laughing an joking"

Kirstie nods in reply to her Olivia can see Kirstie Looked exhausted, She noticed Kirstie washin in an out of consciousness fighting to stay awake.

Olivia leans into her "It's okay Honey if your tired sleep" Olivia says stroking Kirstie's head "I'll stay right here"

The next thing Olivia knew was that Kirstie was asleep, she couldn't help but think how peaceful Kirstie Looked for the first time since she'd met her, she was greatful coz Kirstie needed the rest and to feel safe too


	10. Chapter 10

Olivia hadn't been sat there long while Kirstie slept, when the door opened and in walked a gang of doctors 'oh please don't wake her she's only just fallen to sleep she thought as they walked through the door. This isn't fair Kirstie needed her sleep an here was a gang of doctors ready to poke an prod her, she'd been though enough thought Olivia! Olivia stood up

"I know you need to see her but can you ALL not come back later, she's not long fallen asleep and her Dad's on his way am sure she would like to be more awake when he arrives" Olivia says softly so not to wake Kirstie

The lead doctor walks round to where Olivia is stood an nods for the doctors to leave "I'm sorry the nurse said she was awake so I thought I'd show my students how savior Asthma can get, as Kirstie's is the worst case I've seen that's survived since I started in medicine, she's still in the touch an go stage tho, with her obbs not quite stabilizing yet, Dr Myers told me she has lots of friends and Family to keep her company, I'm Mr Wilson by the way Kirstie consultant"

Olivia nods an smiles with relief that they hadn't woken Kirstie,

The doctor walks towards to the door and smiles to Olivia "Look after her you've got one brave Daughter their Ms..."

"It's Detective Benson, an am not her Mom, I was the one who brought her in"

"Oh I am sorry Detective, I assumed you were her Mom, you just look so alike, take care I'll pop back with Dr Myers later, to see how she's getting on an hopefully her blood work will be back by then" the doctor said just before he closed the door behind him

Olivia sat there bemused by what the doctor had just said, she looked at Kirstie yeah they had the same hair colour, Same skin tone, she couldn't remember what Kirstie's eye color was an maybe they had that same cute quirky nose, but she couldn't be this girl was British it was just coincidence that they had similar features nothing else but pure coincidence.

* * *

Just then the door opened an in walked Mad's followed by Heather and then... 'Oh My God No.' thought Liv as Kirstie's Dad walked through the door, Liv knew his face he was older alot older but she couldn't forget it she'd been carring his picture with her everyday for 29 yrs the pictures of him, his wife and Olivia's baby girl from the last day she'd seen her, Olivia moved from the side of Kirstie's bed an over to the corner of the room, he hadn't spotted her his eyes were solely on Kirstie's, an no wonder he had almost lost her an he wasn't even in the same times zone let alone country as her, Liv watch as he rushed to Kirstie's side an took hold of Kirstie's hand looking at his poorly girl layed in bed. Liv thought 'Oh My God Kirstie is my baby girl people had seen it an commented on it but why hadn't she believed them' a tear fell from Liv's eye, after 29 yrs she was looking at the baby she gave away and thought she would never see again!

Just then the silence was broken by a tall blonde in heels that you could hear a mile away walking in this must be the whirl wind they called GLORIA, Olivia thought.

"Oh God Donny Babe, she's not even awake we could have stopped for coffee on the way up an why'd you ave take walk so fast you know how I hate to run in heels baby"

"Sssssh baby doll" Don said not moving his head away from Kirstie

"But Baaabe.. I need my coffee" Gloria said leaning in to Don

Heather an Mad's roll their eyes and mouth sorry to Olivia, who is by this time almost in the doorway, she nods an points to the door and mouths bk "I'll go" an turns an walks out the door closing it behind her she let's out a long breath an reaches for her phone it was about time she was honest told Brian everything...

"Baaabe... Pleeeeaaasse I really do need some coffee" Gloria says as they all hear the door shut from Olivia leaving,

Don turns round looking at Heather an Mad's "Who was that?" an nods his head to the door

"Baaa.." Gloria begins

"Oh Gloria PLEASE, not now, if you must just go and get your bloody coffee" Don said not even making eye contact with her,

Gloria nods an walks to the door "FINE" an the door closes behind her

"who was that here before, I noticed someone in the room but..." Don trails off as he feels Kirstie sweeze his hand "Oh your awake baby girl, how ya doing?"

Kirstie pulls her mask away from her face an smile, she was sooo happy to see her Dad sat next to her "Am ok Dad, getting better"

Don leans in an plants a tender Kiss on Kirstie's Forehead brushing her hair away he smiles back at her "Oh Kirstie baby girl I was sooo worried about you and am soo sorry I wasn't here for you, I wish I'd never gone away"

"Dad am 29 not 9 you can't be here all the time, I'm getting better now an your here that's all that matters, oh and that she's gone for her God dame coffee" Kirstie says sitting her self up some more.

"You were awake?"

"Yep but I just couldn't deal with me me me scenario, so I kept my eyes shut" Kirstie says rolling her eyes, Heather an Mad's both giggle at what Kirstie's said an smile

"I don't blame her dad, think I would have done the same" Heather said still laughing

Kirstie looks round the room as if something was missing an turnsher head towards where Mad's an Heather are sat "Where'd she go? She was here when I fell asleep an I thought I heard her voice just before you guys came in"

"You mean Detective Benson?" Mad's says an points to the door "she left, just before Gloria went to get her coffee"

"Oh no, I wanted you to meet her Dad, if it wasn't for her quick thinking dad..i...you know. And she's been great since sat with me an kept me company she's lovely Dad you'd love her"

"I didn't see her walk past the far window so she must be in the waiting room Kirstie, maybe Dad can meet her in a bit" Heather said


End file.
